Chapter 1 - Jacarandas

As I step outside this large institute, I take a breath — watching as the flowers from the Jacaranda trees fall gently onto the ground.

I take a step onto the concrete footpath, seeing my black, leather shoes barely holding its own laces together. I fix the collar on my dark blazer, roll the worn sleeves embroidered with a gold trimming, and loosen the tie that has insisted on choking my neck for the past seven hours. I also secure my belt, with a star-shaped buckle holding it together.

Now I wait, as I look into the horizon of the deep, blue sky. I wait for a calling, an answer, a solution to such a confusing mess of a life I have.

Why have I done this to myself?

Chapter 1

Jacarandas

Alright, enough contemplating. Let me introduce myself. Ahem.

My name is Pluto… or at least, that’s what I’ve been called my whole life. I study here at the Exon Institute, a place where both “the minds of the imaginative and the logical can converge and collaborate”. I personally find it a bit cliché but I don’t really mind. It’s a prestigious school to get into, and I’ve only been able to keep myself here through my scholarship.

The only way I got that scholarship was through my musical talent in both piano and vocals. Not only that, but I’ve also done a bit of writing every now and then, which is what’s kept me surviving in this torturous institute for five years. I don’t even know if I counted that correctly.

And ever since I’ve been in this institute, my life has just gotten harder and harder. Instead of doing the basic arithmetic that I did all the way back when I was a kid, I’m now doing so many equations that involve this random “ax² + bx + c” that I don’t even fully understand. That’s not the only thing driving me crazy, my personal life has been killing me too.

Welcome to the world of romance, where unrequited love becomes the source of your absolute doom. Being someone who’s romantically attracted to people feels more like a curse than a blessing nowadays. I do respect all the couples out there who are enjoying their fancy five-star dinner or a simple movie night together, I really do! It’s just sometimes, I wish for a love where the right person would finally come to me, and it hurts knowing that there are people who actually got that wish. Just a bit of jealousy, that’s all.

And there was one day where I thought my wish finally came true, when someone barged straight into my life. His name was Jupiter.

Remembering that reality exists, I pinch myself awake as I see two different but familiar figures.

To my left, a rather short girl with quite frizzy hair walks smoothly on the concrete footpath, adjusting the pins on her backpack to make sure it doesn’t fall off. She adjusts her thin, wireframe glasses and ties her red bandana securely on her head, with an expensive-looking clip that looks like a crescent moon snug quite tightly. Around her neck is her lucky double-layered crescent moon necklace, something she tends to wear when she’s in a good mood.

To my right, a contrastingly tall lady with her uniform half done quickly approaches my location, trying to keep her two space buns and rat-tail intact as she dashes at me at full speed.

It’s my friends, Lianne and Ratani. And by the looks of Ratani’s overwhelming burst of energy, I don’t think that I’m ready for any social interaction right now.

“Hey, come on, let’s go!” Ratani — with a lot of enthusiasm — tells me to start heading forward towards the pathway to our neighbourhood. I start following along as she leads the way.

“How have you been?” Lianne asks me, with warmth and care as she delivers her words. She adjusts her bandana slightly to make herself feel more comfortable.

“Good, I guess,” I reply, with a little bit of hesitation. Ratani carefully analyses my face, trying to decode what’s wrong with me. Her rat-tail moves with her, as she leans down to look at me from a lower angle.

“You seem a little down, what happened?” Lianne asks with a bit of curiosity, putting her hands in her pocket and staring as if she was looking directly into my soul.

“Not much,” I reply hesitantly, “I just feel a little down today, that’s all.”

“Well, cheer up, silly!” Ratani replies, with her stance moving back to normal and her hands blasting up into the air, “We’ve got the whole afternoon ahead of us! But you know, if you want to talk…” She darts her eyes towards Lianne, sort of like an obvious signal that I can definitely see.

“Then we’ll be here to listen,” Lianne continues Ratani’s sentence. I give out an exasperated sigh, trying to figure out how to piece all the words into existence.

And as my mind continues to piece a sentence together, it drifts back into the past. Into the depths of my mind I go.

Kind of comedic, yet quiet and peaceful. Who could ask for more? Jupiter was an analytic sort of person, deep in thought but his own worst critic — if you ask me. There was a fuzzy feeling when I was around him, a feeling that I can’t really describe. Not only was he nice to be around, he was kind enough to be with me especially when I needed a friend at that time.

Before I met him, I met someone else named Astron. He was charming, imaginative, and quite a fast runner too. Looking back at it now, I’m not really surprised how I fell for such a person. We had a wholesome friendship before it all crumbled quickly like a flooded dam. Guess who made it crumble? Me, of course!

And as the tales usually go, Person A likes Person B, Person B doesn’t like Person A back… blah, blah, blah, unrequited love. Got ghosted, then moved on.

A few weeks of feeling lonely and miserably writing many poems about my doomed friendship later, I stumbled upon the one and only Jupiter.

You could say it wasn’t the most typical of friendships, and it wasn’t a typical admiration either. At first, having a bit of company while I was still recovering made me appreciate his presence. However, his great listening skills made me appreciate him even more.

Someone who just listened to my concerns, sat through all my rants, and didn’t mind when I was just being my silly old self. I felt like I met a friend that I never had in a while, someone who just saw me for who I was. And I’m not surprised I fell for that because… who wouldn’t?

Keen for an answer to see if he would return the favour of wanting to be together, I made my move and asked a simple question. “Do you think we could ever be something more than friends?”

He replied with something along the lines of “I’m not really ready for something like that”. I respected his decision and went along with it as the days passed by. Of course, I felt a little hurt. But instead of internally rotting to death, I distracted myself with studies, called some of my old buddies, and got back into making my own songs on the piano to keep myself busy, in order to keep my sanity intact.

And as those same days flew by, a fond closeness started to blossom between us. Not something that was only romantic in a sense, but a close bond — unshakeable and unbreakable. We spent our time playing music together, listening to playlists we made for each other, and even having a few game nights every now and then. I introduced him to my friends who even gave him a ‘seal of approval’.

Still, even with that newfound closeness, I was never able to take off this perspective of romance from an innocent friendship. Like rose-tinted glasses, forever stuck on my head. But I’ve found ways to manage it… somehow.

And now we’re here, standing in the midst of a gentle, warm spring.

And as I drift back into reality, I see Lianne and Ratani still staring at me like they’re waiting for something, like a cat asking its owner for food. Oh right, I was supposed to say something.

“Well, I wouldn’t really say that today was the greatest, but I wouldn’t say it was the worst either,” I say to both of them, “I’m over all that chasing romance or whatever with Jupiter, but I feel as if there’s a part of me that’s missing. Like a jigsaw piece, never falling into its right place.”

They listen attentively as they wait for my next words.

“I’ve always been putting a lot of effort in ensuring my admirations liked me back and every single time, they haven’t,” I continue, “And I’ve learned my lesson to also let platonic love come to me too, interacting with my friends a lot more. However, it still feels as if there’s this voice telling me, ‘despite you choosing so many people and devoting all your energy for them, nobody ever chose you’. For once, that voice is kind of right.

I still feel that lingering feeling of wanting someone on the same frequency as me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake that feeling. I just have to keep myself sane and secure my acceptance in just pure friendship. And that type of friendship isn’t bad, I’d prefer it more to not being friends at all.”

“Well, that’s pretty valid if you ask me,” Lianne replies. Ratani nods shortly after.

“Maybe you’ll never be able to shake off that feeling,” Lianne continues, “but you’re always able to focus on other things while keeping the close friendship you built so strongly. And I’m sure that this feeling of emptiness will go away after you find someone who would actually devote their energy for you, just as you would for them.”

I think about these words for a second, pausing my inner thoughts. A moment of silence occurs, then I muster up the confidence to talk again.

“Thanks, guys,” I reply, with a bit more joy in my voice, “Now, can we talk about something less depressing?”

They both laugh, quickly moving onto the next hot topic. “I was going through so many exams today,“ Lianne says, immediately ranting, “I think my head is about to actually explode.”

We all walk back to our neighbourhood, saying goodbye as we part ways and go back to our houses. On the way, I see another Jacaranda tree, pausing my journey back home to sit under it.

As I hold onto a deep, purple flower that had dropped on the ground, I recall the sweet memories of spending every day with not only Jupiter, but the rest of my friends. In this expansive institute, I never thought I’d find the people I needed the most, when I felt the most alone in my life.

Then I finally stand up, continuing the path home. As I approach the doorstep, I take my unpolished shoes off and open the door, finally being able to rest after such a long day.

I guess the day is over. I’ll wait until tomorrow. Maybe, there will be better days ahead.

✮ ✮ ✮

Hey everyone, thanks for reading this chapter for Plutoscape. There’s a lot more coming ahead, so stay tuned for more!

This is a bit of an experiment so if it ends well, this might turn out to be a whole novel. Who knows, though? I’ll see you next time.

Signing off, Davo.